these days everything had been tough i guess... exams coming and expedition coming too... sometimes i am thinking whether is this what i want? get myself into all this things and be busy about it? i dun mind doing all this when the effort is paid off at the end when u see smiles on ppl's face. however what i feel now is that ur effort u put in no one even cares.
ppl who u train together had turned out to be like this? i dunno what happen to them and this makes me upset. times had change and ppl also change. maybe i just cannot get back the feeling and nv gonna get it back. things are only nice on the surface however if u ever get deeper into the matter u will find lots of bullshit inside. i seriously dunno what i can do to rewind everything that had happened. i guess there's no solution to it and it's the fact and i guess i have to accept it.
i can't really describe how i am feeling now. sometimes i really hope i can cry out loud and make sure all my worries gone with the wind. but in the first place i can't even cry or tear how to fulfil it? another sad thing is that birthday is gonna be mugging. no worries every year it;s like this. mummy also dun even bother about my bday. she says it's not impt to celebrate and i think i had live with this for 17 yrs. eveything is so terrible now... i hope i can find someone to talk to and pour out all my sorrow. something that i think can make me feel relieved is that i am not the one that is in a bad situation cause there are ppl who faces problem which is even bigger than me... mine is just peanuts...
things dun go right! but ppl always say it's how u view it... trying hard to view it in another angle to make myself smile.
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