Wednesday, September 06, 2006
i feel i just write for fun only la. i feel there's no point complaining in this blog when no one really cares. everyone seems to be doing their own things. hiaz i need money i need to work too but why i am just stuck in sch dealing with unreasonable participants who insist to have frens with them then they go? why i just have to deal with the mpa ppl when i did most of the things and they are still not happie with it? why i always have to think abt others like let them go if they are busy and suffer myself? why and thousands and millions of why. i just cannot take it anymore. crying can't solve my problem anymore cause i have no more tears to shed. now is just to wait for the event to be over. and what happens if i wanna leave the club? i will not have fun anymore but i have the freedom that i long wanted. is it so? feeling like running away from the problem if i do that? so far i think they dun need me la. it seems fine without me cause i am just a nobody contributing nth to the club. ha ya true. nvm who cares then? it nv hurt them what why would they wanna know?
i am tired to go to sch every single day with no participants handing money and make me wait in vain. i am tired to look into my wallet with only a few bucks and have to think abt what to eat before doing any action. oh pls am i that poor? why i cannot find someone to donate to my fund? argh... oh dear i am really tired. dealing with so many stuffs in a month and thinking abt after that there is no rest ans it;s sch reopen. same thing ahead. slping in class and then kana this and that. oh no i make it sound like my life is terrible. but i dun want this to be like this ar. i wanna everything to be alright and expecting ppl to help. hiaz no one seems to share the feeling as me. no one just understand. it's just a feeling that no one knows. who can i tell? best fren? ha she is busy having her prelims and everyone is so damn busy to even bothered abt u. so long nv really pour out how i feel liao. so good to have a sibling ard but too bad i dun have one. ya and so i talk to soft toys which they dun reply. oh dear when will it end? pls let everything be okie during the trip if not i will be stress and ppl ard will just say dun stress. what's the point? and they dun even understand so i see no pt explaining. they are not so involved with this project what what to do? is me who is stupid enough to take up this role and now suffer. when mistakes comes i have to solve myself. its killing me! i receive no support ar and my stupid brain is not working hard enough to get a solution and end up ya. hiaz...
i really need someone to really come and understand how i feel. but i can't find one. i wanna go some place to scream out loud and vent my anger inside me but i just can't find the particular place as i am living in a city area. what i can do is to talk to soft toys and hug my pillow. fine ya no point continue liao cause no one view this stupid blog anyway. ya and so why waste time writing so much?
timecheck: 5:53 AM
